don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
