tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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