Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
