if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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