She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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