Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
