Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So apparently I’m into choking now
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
