so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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