It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
