he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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