it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize