Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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