I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
