ugly people sure do ruin things
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize