So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
