Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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