Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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