STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
