Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
