I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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