are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize