We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You can't just leave with hair like that
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
