you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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