well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
