New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
