your room smells of hookers.
And success
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
