Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Alive.
So much puke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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