dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
