I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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