he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Actions speak louder than pants.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
