she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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