that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize