how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Life is so much better after having sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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