So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
