Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
