I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
