i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
