I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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