my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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