Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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