I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
