I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize