I wish I could teleport
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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