in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
True strength comes from lack of pants
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