Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
