I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
