But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize