they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
