You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
