ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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