There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and she was petting her beer can
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
