a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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