Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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