they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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