i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
