this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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