Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
