I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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