i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
