How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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