She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she smelled like a LAN party
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
