u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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