Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
