I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
