Already got asked if we're dating
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
