i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
