Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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