bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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