You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
