smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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