At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
