dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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